4 Simple Ways to Help You Calm Down from a Somatic Therapist
When your nervous system is activated—whether from stress, anxiety, or trauma—it can feel overwhelming. As a somatic therapist, I often see clients seeking quick fixes to help them calm down. While there are immediate strategies to soothe the nervous system, true nervous system deactivation requires more than momentary relief. Let’s explore the difference between managing behaviors and deeper nervous system deactivation, as well as how trauma impacts these processes.
Managing Behaviors vs. Deactivation
Managing behaviors are actions we take to cope with an activated nervous system. They can offer temporary relief, like putting a bandage on a wound. Examples include:
Using alcohol or drugs to relax
Picking at your skin
Scrolling through social media
Restricting or bingeing on food
While these behaviors can take the edge off in the moment, they don’t provide the deep settling your nervous system truly needs. That’s where deactivation comes in. Deactivation involves helping your nervous system shift out of survival states and into a place of regulation and safety.
When you experience deactivation, you feel a profound sense of calm. It’s different from the temporary reprieve managing behaviors provide. For instance, having a drink with a friend might take the edge off, but it’s not the same as the grounded, deep sense of relief you might feel after practicing somatic exercises.
Trauma and Nervous System Activation
Trauma can cause your nervous system to get stuck in survival states like fight, flight, freeze, or shut down. These states often show up in the body:
Fight or flight: You might feel a racing heart, tight chest, or tense muscles. Blood flows to your extremities, preparing you to mobilize and protect yourself.
Freeze or shut down: You might feel numb, disconnected, or dissociated. You’re not necessarily anxious but feel like you’re going through the motions without truly being present.
These patterns can persist long after the threat has passed, leaving you feeling stuck. That’s why deeper work is necessary to help the nervous system reset.
Ways to Cope in the Moment
For those moments when you’re overwhelmed, here are four strategies to manage nervous system activation and start moving toward deactivation:
Deep breathing: I know, annoying right? Isn’t there ANYTHING else to do besides breathe? This isn’t a new idea and is mentioned by therapists all over the internet, and for good reason: deep breathing can literally shift the nervous system into a state of safety. You can do anything that feels good, but one option is to try inhaling for three counts, holding for three counts, and exhaling for five counts.
Focus on positive sensations: Bring awareness to a part of your body that feels neutral or pleasant. This could be the sensation of your feet on the ground or the warmth of your hands. We tend to overlook these sensations as humans, and are compelled by the negative. Take time to notice where you feel positive or neutral in your body, and linger in those sensations.
Orienting: Engage with your environment to bring yourself into the present moment. Look around and name five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. As you do this, notice any shifts that happen in your body—do your shoulders drop, or does you heart rate slow down?
Move your body: Gentle movement like stretching, pushing against a wall, shaking out your hands, or going for a slow walk can help shift your state. If you have a sense of your body’s urges when you’re anxious, follow that. Does it want to push, kick, hit? Find ways to allow these impulses to move through you.
These practices can help you cope, but they’re not a replacement for deeper nervous system work.
The Role of Therapy in Deactivation
Therapy, particularly somatic therapy, plays a vital role in creating lasting change. Trauma-informed somatic therapy helps you understand your body’s signals and teaches you tools to regulate your nervous system. With expert guidance, you can move beyond managing behaviors and into a place of true deactivation and healing.
For those seeking focused, unrushed therapy in Colorado, I offer Immersive Therapy and Nervous System Resets. These services go beyond the surface to help you find a sense of safety and calm within yourself.
You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. A skilled therapist can help you reclaim your sense of safety and guide you toward the deeper change you deserve.
About the Author
Martha Carter is a licensed therapist providing virtual services in Colorado. She is trauma-informed and trained in somatic, neurobiology-based modalities to help people with all types of trauma, chronic pain, and eating disorders heal from the inside out.
(Colorado residents only)
